Teal Swan Unveils the Hidden Causes of Controlling Behavior in Women and Offers Breakthrough Solutions

In a recent exploration of controlling and uptight behavior in women, Teal Swan, a renowned spiritual teacher and author, delves into the underlying causes and provides actionable solutions. This behavior, often misunderstood and superficially addressed, is primarily driven by deep-seated fear and anxiety resulting from past traumatic experiences. To genuinely resolve this issue, it is essential to understand its roots and implement strategies that cater to the unmet needs and fears of these women.

Control is fundamentally a fear-based behavior. Those who exhibit uptight and controlling tendencies often do so because their nervous systems are perpetually on high alert, a consequence of chronic distress and unresolved trauma. This state of perpetual vigilance stems from having their needs unmet, particularly those necessary for maintaining a feminine polarity. These individuals might adopt a hyper-vigilant stance to gain a semblance of safety and security, often manifesting as strict control over their environment and relationships.

One of the most popular misconceptions is that a laid-back or carefree partner will help alleviate a controlling woman’s fears and anxieties. Contrary to this belief, a carefree man who is not attuned to potential dangers can exacerbate the anxiety. Such a partner might be seen as a liability, intensifying the woman’s need for control as she cannot trust him to buffer her from potential harm.

A poignant example is Shannon and Jabrill. Shannon, characterized by her controlling and uptight nature, finds herself in constant conflict with Jabrill’s carefree attitude. While Jabrill believes his laid-back approach helps Shannon relax, his lack of attunement to responsibilities and dangers only heightens her anxiety. This dynamic illustrates that reassurance without proactive problem-solving can be counterproductive.

Moreover, attributing a woman’s controlling behavior to a desire for power undermines the true issue. This behavior is not rooted in a lust for control but rather in a desperate attempt to avoid painful experiences. Addressing the symptom of control without tackling the underlying trauma is akin to treating jaundice without addressing liver failure.

Relaxation techniques, though beneficial, are insufficient alone. Such methods do not address the deep-seated fears driving the controlling behavior and can be likened to teaching someone to breathe calmly while they are hurtling towards a waterfall.

Addressing the root causes involves several key strategies:

1. Anticipate and Buffer Potential Dangers: By getting ahead of potential problems and demonstrating hyper-attunement to responsibilities, a partner can build trust and create a sense of safety. This proactive approach helps alleviate the constant pressure on the woman to manage everything.
2. Meet Her Unmet Needs: Women with controlling tendencies often have unmet needs, particularly those related to their feminine polarity. These include containment, protection, assurance, support, trust, providership, positive ownership, emotional engagement, commitment, and security. Thoughtful solutions to meet these needs are crucial for alleviating controlling behavior.
3. Conscious Problem-Solving: Encouraging a conscious approach to preventing painful experiences can help. By making subconscious fears a conscious practice, women can better manage their anxieties without feeling solely responsible for every potential mishap.
4. Address Trauma Directly: Unresolved trauma is typically at the root of controlling behavior. Addressing these emotional triggers through processes like Teal Swan’s Completion Process can facilitate significant healing. For detailed guidance, consider exploring her book The Completion Process: The Practice of Putting Yourself Back Together Again by Teal Swan.

The characterization of controlling and uptight behavior as a natural female trait is misleading. These behaviors are responses to unmet needs and unresolved traumas. By recognizing and addressing the fundamental fears at play, it is possible to foster healthier dynamics and alleviate the strain on those exhibiting these tendencies. For a deeper understanding, watch the video embedded at the top for an enlightening perspective.